The Vagaries of Social Media

The Vagaries of Social Media

Lately I’ve had some online friends who decided to pull back and disappear from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media sites. Most of them cite similar reasons for taking protracted breaks. Reasons include: stress, mental health, disgust, tiredness, lack of fun and time consuming. Ah, the vagaries of social media!

I did not want to be on Facebook but when my first book came out, my publisher practically insisted. “If you want to sell books you need an audience and to do that you need Facebook. And Twitter. And….

Well I was already on Twitter, and had been for about a year. But I dragged my feet about Facebook because I didn’t care to post about sneezing or what I ate for lunch, or how I spilled my coffee or where the cat threw up. I really did NOT want to be involved in such a banal, trivial and cliché world. But I joined.

I kept my interactions simple and limited myself to general notes on weather, inspiration, book promotion, and things about writing. Took me a while to learn how to fill everything out and make it work. Than I learned about the ability to have a “page” and more learning commenced as I tried to build an author page (which is why I was there in the first place).

When I started to find familiar faces “out there,” I settled in with a little more confidence. I still kept my personal interactions to a minimum and never disclosed anything too personal. I’m still this way. But gradually I began to see the trouble with “social” media” and why the vagaries sent people away.

I wanted, and still sometimes want, to go away too.

Seems we’ve forgotten how to be civil. We don’t allow people to have a personal opinion that differs with ours. We have forgotten how to debate and be respectful of others’ ideas. We don’t approve of people who are different. We are self-centered and narcissitic. If we aren’t selfie-ing our friends to death, we are meme-ing ad nauseum or else we are selling and selling and selling and selling. It gets tiresome and exhausting and boring and did I mention tiresome?

Social media has made us antisocial (not everyone, of course, I speak generally here). It seems to have brought out the bigots, the racists, the homophobes, the misogynists, the anti-everyone, the social media platform builders and sellers, the buy-me-and-no-one-else-crowds and the folks who drowned out my Notifications with their posts of 57 new pictures every day.

What happened to being social? Where is the “how are you?” Where are the folks who are interested in you just for you? Where are the people who can share a little and then engage a lot?

It is no wonder that people are stressed about social media. It’s a madhouse of nasty innuendo, bad language, constant buy-buy-buy or sell-sell-sell, political vitriol (it has to do with who is #45), sickness, excuses and complaints. People are taking a break by the droves because the vagaries of social media are turning us into people we don’t like. 

Knowing this I wonder why we can’t be different, better, more social and stress a lot less?

Take a good hard look at your feeds. If you are a business, then sell. But remember to gain notice you have to be social too. Are you putting out a thousand pictures all over everyone’s feed? Stop. Give me 10 now and maybe 10 more later. I don’t need every single photo of your trip. Or else use the custom notifications and send only to those who really want to know the intimate details.

Yes, let us see the new baby, the new kitty, the graduation, the success, the bestseller, the solo at church, the blue ribbon and the first day of school. We are interested in your big moments. But exercise some caution before you get in too deep about your personal life. (And as a suggestion, stop broadcasting to the public when you are away from the house. Use the friends only for that and keep yourself safer). Sharing is caring. Too much sharing is overkill. Social media has become the overkill valley. No wonder we’re all wanting to run away back to the lives we know and love.

Let’s do a little less finger pointing, harassing, shaming and bullying. Let’s be SOCIAL and be kind. Let’s be curious and interested about others even though you want to yell “BUY MY BOOK.”  Remember that social media serves a purpose. It’s not a retail store (unless you have a business page). Want to get some fans? Be social before you be the salesperson.

And stop letting the vagaries of social media drive you, your friends, and me away because we need to stop stressing, worrying and recovering. Let’s be FUN! There’s a thought, right?

Let’s make Social media a social thing again and maybe we won’t trouble ourselves with the vagaries ever again.

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry